Chrome parts for your car

I have noticed a phenomenon in recent years that has me largely perplexed. Babies are being over-babied and parents are obsessed with micro-managing the growth of their children. Sure, it is probably a biological imperative for parents to want to care for their children and to provide a safe environment for them to grow up and learn how to fend for themselves. And it is even arguably a psychologically or evolutionarily-induced instinct for parents to want their children to live better lives than they themselves did growing up. My parents certainly did their best to give my brothers and me the best life they could. But parents these days seem to go too far. Or perhaps, it is the babies that are exerting some kind of new mind-control that had heretofore not existed in human evolution. They are the X-Men in cotton onesies.

The fact that a multi-billion dollar industry exists just to cater to the needs of babies strikes me as oddly insane. Children’s wardrobes consist of clothing that are far more expensive than the most expensive items in my closet, and the entirety of items in my parents’ closets. And if you really want your baby to grow up without any kind of skin conditions, you should only let them wear clothes made from organic and natural fibers, which cost three times as much as polyester and can only be worn by babies during a two week period before they outgrow a particular outfit.

Babies these days ride in strollers that are quite literally bigger than the environmentally friendly European Smart Car. They are large enough that the concerned parent can bring everything the baby might ever need, including enough diapers in case armageddon prevents them from getting home in time for pooping. They not only clutter the sidewalks of once pedestrian-friendly neighborhoods, but they fill cozy restaurants and block subway doors.

The strollers then transform into car-seats for use in their SUV counterparts. New York recently upped the age of consent for children to be released from their bondage in car-seats. Children now must by law ride in the backseat and in a regulation car-seat until they are the ripe old age of 8. I remember the good old days when I sat in the middle of the front bench seat of my uncle’s Chevrolet – with four other people. Or when my brothers would make me ride the hump in the backseat of our parents Ford Grenada on long road trips. Yes, we should have seatbelt rules and safety rules to ensure the future existence of our children in case of accident. But it seems that we have lost our ability to simply use our common sense. And if we can’t teach our 8-year olds that they shouldn’t be monkeying around in the backseat while the car is in motion, what hope do we have that they will someday draft a universal healthcare bill.

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